Friday, December 19, 2014

Blank pages

A professional writer is an amateur who didn't quit.
 - Richard Bach
I've started many different posts over the past two weeks, but deleted them all. It's been a struggle. I've had a hard time concentrating and too little sleep. The demands of motherhood and homeschooling during the holidays have been overwhelming. Factor in grief to the equation, and I can certainly tell you that I am not Super Woman. (I always knew this, but there are some out there who, for whatever reason, seem to think I am!) I do not have "it" all together, nor do I pretend to have it all together.

My goal in this blog was to document my writing journey, and this is part of it. Blank pages. Frustration. Disappointment with myself. But it's not all bad. I've learned much, and I'm still learning. I set a goal when I began this blog to publish every week, but I'm recognizing my limits. When life is okay and things are running smoothly, I can meet the goal. However, when life squeezes the stress on thick (like a herniated disc) and daily life becomes a burden, it's time to inhale a big dose of grace.

It's okay to slow down. It's okay to say no. It's okay that writing right now isn't a priority. It doesn't mean I'm a failure. It doesn't mean I'm a "bad" writer. It doesn't mean I'll never succeed. It means there are seasons to everything. (Reading happens to be the current season, by the way!) It means I prioritize. It means I do what I can when I can. It means I seek God for direction.

Writing is most definitely not a sprint. It is complex. It is multifaceted. It is a process. Too often, we want to shortcut the process and skip to the end. But we singularly rob ourselves of the learning and character building that only comes from staying in it until the end. The hard part of the race is figuring out how to pace yourself. That, I have never been good at. Pacing is a lot like grace. It has to keep flowing. It has to be abundant, ever-present. It doesn't give up. It recognizes that every step is important. It honors the journey.

So while there has been blank pages as far as writing, those pages are permeated with an aura of grace. Without grace, expectations and goals become unrealistic rules. No matter the job or role, we all face "blank" days/pages. But it's those who give and accept grace that don't quit. And eventually, the blank pages will be filled with a beautiful story.

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